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This tale of dastardly deeds and piratical purposes cries out for that good old-fashioned operatical treatment that was so well-received (and effective) in times of yore.

Are there no budding composers and librettists who can step forward to fill this yawning gap in our modern pantheon of raucous pop and discordant noise?

Plot? "Plot" you say? You want a plot?

Is there a shortage of plots?!

Perhaps we only have to look in the right place, and we will find a veritable cornucopia of plots!

But maybe we can help out today with a neatly packaged, scumbag filled, byzantine assemblage of legal twists, important actors, nefarious motivations, occult collusions and yes, that vital lowly hero who selflessly stands against the impossible odds, determined to secure the eventual inevitable triumph of light and love over venality, subterfuge, and darkness - simply because it is the right thing to do.

A microcosm that may exemplify both the worst and the best aspects of our modern Britain. Perhaps 'twas ever thus.

Courtesy of that trusted spiritual warrior Martin Geddes, who recounts today a tawdry tale of modern carpetbaggery by the suave and sophisticated at the expense of the now somewhat run-down but nevertheless still functional port at Palnackie, this is an incursion that must be repelled.

Set your hankies at the ready, the show will begin as soon as the operetta is prepared ...


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